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We must not be shocked that in every city the world over, there are enough freaks to make a party; even less so when a city is sloshing with gold. But what is so different, so unsettling, about the "Dubai porta potty" legend — as it is known for reasons you can work out for yourself — is how wilfully it has taken root, and how ancient the Western fantasies are that it speaks to. I will not explain these familiar pub myths in too much depth in the interest of decency, but rest assured they are gross. A couple of years ago, these stories exploded onto Twitter timelines, with subsequent waves of interest sparked by "leaked" images and videos (of which Katie Price most recently fell victim). They involved extremely niche, and extremely extreme, sex acts which influencers were paid eye-watering sums to carry out during "content" trips to the UAE. National newspapers took note, revealing the haggling over £10,000-a-night deals that went on in Instagram DM


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